Managing Tall Poppy Syndrome
Tall Poppy Syndrome (TPS) is an Aussie and NZ thing, and to some degree, also England. It refers to “cutting down the tall poppy” where you criticise others for their success, talents and achievements. Some believe it’s a by-product of our cultural value of everyone being equal. Equality is fair and right isn’t it? If you work harder or focus on educating yourself (versus soaking up TV time, or socialising) you shouldn’t get ahead, should you? You certainly shouldn’t be praised or rewarded for your success! Well, I disagree. Doing well, aka ‘success’ shouldn’t be a bad thing and should not be something you want to avoid or hide or not reach out for.
How often when someone gets ahead or succeeds, do you hear (or are tempted) to put them down (or cut them down)? We’ve heard the expression “he’s full of himself” or a Japanese expression “the nail that sticks up, gets hammered down”. Why are we not happy for others’ success? Why do we feel we need to ‘hide our light under a bushel’? Well, as I said, it’s mostly in our upbringing and about how successful people can be treated. At times they are bullied, criticised, left out, resented or mocked. Cutting down someone because of their success is wrong. If you wish to cruise through life, or not work hard, that is your choice, but please, don’t resent those who want to set remarkable goals and soar towards them.
Why is Success a Good Thing (and yes, I believe wholeheartedly that it is):
- It helps us (or our businesses) advance
- Successful people and successful businesses hold up this country and provide jobs to other people.
- Successful people pay taxes which in turn pays for teachers, police, roads, medical services. This makes me wonder; why does the ATO penalise success with higher percentage rates for higher-income earners? Makes me think the Government has its own form of TPS!
- Successful people and businesses also buy. They use their suppliers more, contractors more, need assisting services like accountants, bookkeepers, advisors … so that means associated businesses can be successful too.
- Success usually brings money. Sure, I realise that success means different things to different people, but with most of my business coaching clients, when I ask them, they see success as increased business and greater profits. We all know that money won’t make us happy, but what it does do is give you freedom and choices. Those choices, options and freedom can give us happiness.
- The more success we have in this country, the greater the economy, the less the strain on benefits and in turn, longer-term economic stability does statistically lead to lower crime rates.
- Success in other areas, such as career, weight loss, and driving a nice car is also fine; you might not be creating jobs, but you’re creating your own happiness. As I said, success can mean lots of different things.
So, can we agree? Success is a good thing! Success is not a dirty word, nor something you should avoid or hide from others. So don’t hold back on being successful!
Here are 10 Tips on How to Manage TPS and Stand Tall in Achieving Your Own Success:
1. Cut out negative people from your life
Someone who always puts you down is NOT a friend. People who are negative, or discourage you from doing well are not looking out for you. Their resentment and jealousy do you no good.
2. Surround yourself with positive and like-minded people
Positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds, yes you got it – negativity. Focus on spending your time with those who are happily part of your ‘cheer squad’. Interestingly, about 90% of my friends are business owners; I guess ‘birds of a feather, do flock together’.
3. Set your goals and aim high
Too often we set low goals for ourselves and don’t push ourselves too hard. Ensure your goals are achievable, but remember also, you don’t have to achieve them in a week or a month. Some goals take years to achieve. But the sooner you identify your goals, and set a plan in place, the sooner you can get started. Don’t allow others to trample your dreams or tell you it’s impossible.
4. Ditch imposter syndrome
This probably is a blog of its very own. The short answer is to own your successes, believe you are good at what you do, or ‘know your stuff’ and don’t listen to that little negative voice on your shoulder which is ‘cutting you down’.
5. Stay focused; keep going
When you have set goals for yourself that seem hard to achieve, deviating from the path to success might look easier. Short term, you may feel more accepted by some people around you, but long term is this best for you? Stay focused on what is important to you and keep chipping away until you have achieved your goals. If everyone could do it, everyone would do it – challenges are exactly that – they weed out the people who don’t want it bad enough.
6. Accept you can’t win them all
Let’s face it, you’re not going to be liked by everyone. Plus, there will be negative people in your life or those who will try to bring you down. Sometimes we can’t remove them from our lives; they might be our co-workers, a client, a supplier or a family member. Think of yourself as a duck in the rain and it just washes off your back. If you can reduce your time with that person, perhaps that will help, but also just accept, that their comments or problems are just that – theirs.
7. Be proud of your achievements and ‘own them’
I’ve been called ‘driven’ and I choose to take that as a compliment. However, find that fine line between being proud of your achievements and being overly boastful. For example, if you win an award, acknowledge how your team, company, client or others helped to contribute sounds better than “I deserve this!” which lacks grace and tact. Find that balance.
8. Practice accepting compliments
When someone does say “You look nice today” or “You delivered a great presentation” don’t revert to something negative like “This old thing?!” or “Nah, I totally stuffed it up”. Instead, say thanks, I appreciate that.
9. Lead by example
Practice giving compliments or praising those for their success. Whether it’s your team, a supplier, a client or a competitor, be better than others and lead by example by not ‘cutting someone down’ for their success. Remember their success doesn’t take anything away from you; it’s their success; you too can have your own.
10. Don’t TPS your marketing
If you’re in business – get past trying to ‘tone yourself down’ in your marketing. If you’ve been doing something well for 10 years, it’s fine to call yourself an ‘expert’. It might be helpful initially if you struggle to write a great bio or ‘About’ page, write down every one of your achievements and then get someone else to put those into very positive words. Find that nice balance between promoting your worth, versus being arrogant. Confidence is great, but vanity or conceit won’t be taken so well.
If you’d like help with any aspect of your business (or life) my business coaching or life coaching services are available Australia and New Zealand wide; just click here.
