As a business coach and life coach, the subject of failure comes up somewhat often. Firstly, I believe that failure can be real or perceived. If your business is showing a substantial loss month after month and you’re about to go into bankruptcy, then it may be an actual failure.
However, sometimes there is perceived failure, which is not necessarily real, or as bad as it feels. Often people post on social media how successful they are (not always the truth) and that makes others feel they are failing. However, when I talk to those clients, that sense of failure isn’t so much real, but what is being put upon them. When we assess what they (versus social media, friends or associates expect) then perhaps they are not failing at all, but are where they want to be. Every person’s determination of success (or failure) is different. Some people feel that until they conquer the universe, they haven’t succeeded. Others have other goals, perhaps less lofty, but no less important – to them at least.
How to Handle Failure
Know your Goals and Objectives!
Before you say “I am failing” (or less strong: “I’m not succeeding”) first be succinct about what you want your success to look like. Is global domination your objective, or perhaps working less hours and spending time with family is more important to you? I coached a business owner years ago who said he didn’t have enough money. When I asked “so what amount do you want?” … his answer was unclear and basically just “more”. Be clear about what you want. With SMART goals, the first letter is S for Specific.
Be Self-aware
Are you a person who tends to focus on the negative and tends to see the negative in many situations? If that is the case, then being aware of this is important. You may, in fact, want to start focusing more on the positive and focusing more on what is working in your life or business. In my view, negative thoughts tend to bring us down and make us feel less happy. However, by practising techniques to improve our motivation and positivity, then we, in turn, see more of the positive. If you know you’ve that tendency to be negative, then as you see something failing, actually analyse the situation (as objectively as possible) and assess whether it’s your mood, mindset or reality which is the truth of the situation.
Develop Realistic Expectations
Your goals, expectations and objectives should always be realistic and achievable. Sure, aim high and extend yourself out of your comfort zone, but be always real about what you’re aiming for. Certainly ditch limiting self-belief, but also don’t set yourself up for failure by training to achieve too much, too quickly. This might be by being strategic and patient. Set the goals, work out how you will achieve them and work towards that end. However, patience comes in. Remember that we need to learn to crawl before we walk, and the same goes in business. A brand-new business needs to get things right before it expands into multiple regions, areas or branches. However, a well-established business can adopt a more ambitious goal. The same can be said for an individual or leader. Start with the end in mind, but don’t expect to run, until you’re able to walk.
Leave Blame at the Door
Often as we see failure occurring, we tend to blame others. It’s the economy, or a competitor set up next door to us and is stealing our business, or a co-worker took our idea and ran with it. When you focus on blame and essentially are a victim, you are less likely to be able to move on and up. My next ideas are practical and about turning a failure into a success, but victims are less likely to do this; so change your mindset and stop blaming everyone else and instead take charge of your situation!
To this end, also leave others’ expectations at the door. Your goals should not be what your friends, associates, family or even coach, expect from you. What do you expect from yourself, or your business?
Determine What isn’t Working
So, onto the practical side of things. If you believe something is failing and is not working, then get onto analysis. Work out what is the problem. If your business isn’t making enough money then why is that? Is it about your pricing, or marketing or sales process or lack of quality delivery or waste? Or perhaps a combination of all these? Before you can ‘fix’ or improve anything, you need to know what you’re going to be focusing on. I do that initial analysis a lot with my business coaching clients; determining where the areas for improvement are, and then taking action to make that improvement and growth happen.
Take Action and Focus on Improvement
So, you’ve determined the areas that need improvement in your life or your business. Perhaps at work, you lack the confidence to speak to a group of people and therefore avoid addressing the Board – and therefore let others take that opportunity to shine in front of the decision-makers. Would doing some public speaking training help you? It might be Toastmasters or a weekend workshop, or perhaps some ongoing training and practice. Don’t wait for your employer to offer to provide this; take the initiative and action your own self-improvement yourself.
In business, you might recognise you’re not great at selling (for a whole lot of different reasons) and perhaps it’s time to get a coach like myself in to help improve your marketing and sales processes and help you to become better at this and improve your sales conversion rates. Burying your head in the sand won’t help improve things; you need to invest in yourself and take the initiative to change things.
Embrace Change
Most of us hate change; some of us more than others, but it’s a natural human behaviour. However, we all know the definition of insanity.
Action New Habits Consistently
As you develop your plan and goals and objectives – plus, of course, the action steps to achieve those goals – be sure to be consistent. Turning up day after day is what makes the difference. In martial arts, the person who is best at their kicks isn’t just someone who has the best technique, but most likely has done thousands of kicks week after week, month after month. It’s about turning up, being consistent and doing the hard work time and time again. What is most important is that after you’ve learnt a new habit or take on a goal orientated direction, stick to it. It’s easy to fall back into old habits and revert to old ways. Thus, we come back to the definition of insanity.
Avoid Bad Habits
Sometimes, if we’re struggling or not achieving our goals, or are failing, we can fall into bad habits and use unhealthy methods to reduce pain. It might be that you stop eating well, or ditch exercise. Perhaps you go back to smoking, or increase alcohol consumption. These are band-aid remedies which just mask the pain; they won’t fix anything.
Finally, Celebrate your Wins
The wins may be actual steps in achieving an overarching goal. Celebrate achieving those steps or sub-goals. You might not have achieved the end result, but you’re on the goal to success, so that’s a good thing. Give yourself a pat on the back and acknowledge you’re on the right path.
If you need help with achieving goals, life coaching, leadership coaching or business coaching, then reach out to me. I’ve over three decades of experience in helping people (plus lots of qualifications) so take the first step and reach out to me here. I support clients with advice, guidance and accountability – as firm or as gentle as you need.
