In life, and business, we sometimes have to deal with difficult people. In business, those people can be clients, suppliers, staff, Government departments and even members of the public. And if we’re honest, even ourselves – we sometimes have difficult moments too. In this blog, I’m going to outline how to manage those difficult situations, so that we are likely to have a better outcome.
How to Handle Difficult People and Situations
Preempt & Prevent
Quite often difficult situations, and therefore the opportunity for difficult people, can be avoided. For example, if a client is annoyed about a condition of doing business with you, that they just discovered, then had they known in advance, that might have been easier. Having clear Terms & Conditions (T&Cs) AND encouraging clients to read them and sign, that means they walk in knowing your expectations. Be fair in your dealings; if you’re fair and don’t try to trick or take advantage, then again, there is less opportunity for anger. The same goes for you as a customer. Ask questions, do your due diligence and be sure you read the ’fine print’ yourself. Think about where confusion could (or frequently comes up) and be crystal clear – even if you need to say it (in writing) a couple of times. For me, I get annoyed when GST isn’t clear on a quote; so I will ask “So that’s GST inclusive?!” – partially as a question, partially as a statement, but then at least I’ve clarified. Do your due diligence; check out a supplier and do your research on what you’re buying before you even reach out. Informed customers are less likely to have issues.
Don’t React & Stay Safe
This can be difficult at first, particularly when someone is coming at you in a hostile or aggressive way. Remember too that sometimes it’s not actually about you or your business. It may be that whatever is happening now, is the ‘final straw that broke the camel’s back’ and you’re just the person getting the brunt of it. They may be having an awful day, or have had an exceptional bad experience before and they are assuming this situation will be the same. Stay calm.
At the same time of not reacting is also protecting yourself or your staff. If the person is abusing you over the phone, feel free to calmly tell them that because they are screaming at you and swearing you will be hanging up now; they can further liaise via email. If it’s in person, you will want to talk them down, or have a process in place that a nod to a team member, means they discreetly call the Police. Never allow yourself or your team to be at risk.
Stop & Listen
This actually has three effects. The first is that you will hopefully be calm whilst you’re listening. Secondly, it will mean that you get the whole story and understand the situation, before jumping in to defend yourself, your team or your business. You’re getting informed and then can respond more from a place of knowledge. The third, and very important reason, is that you’re allowing the other person to vent. Not only vent, but be heard! Often someone with a grievance just wants to be listened to and heard. Now, as part of hearing, don’t just listen, but hear. Step into their shoes and try to see the situation from their perspective; practice empathy. Be friendly, and nod and smile; you’re on their side; rather than making them feel like they are the enemy.
Notes & Questions
Part of your listening should be nodding, maintaining eye contact (if in person) or sounds like “yes”, “aha” etc over the phone, acknowledging you’re there, listening and still there. Absolutely silent might leave the person say “are you still there?”
The second part of this is taking notes. You should ask questions, but initially don’t interrupt – that can irritate. Instead jot down your questions (maybe in the margin or with an asterisk next to them, so you’re able to ask clearly.
As the person seems to have finished, I would say (if not already) “As I’ve been listening, I’ve taken a few notes. So that I can best help you, may I ask a couple of questions? Now is the time to hit those asterisk questions. Make sure they are relevant and make sure you WERE listening and don’t ask something they clearly already said.
Promise to Investigate
Unless you personally know the situation fully, don’t make any promises, other than you will investigate and get back to them. If they are complaining about a team member, don’t agree with them, or disagree with them, until you’ve spoken with the person responsible. Try to give them an idea of when you’ll respond and make sure you do come back to them. What will aggravate an already annoyed person more is (a) not being listened to (b) being ghosted/ignored and (c) you not keeping a promise. Believe it or not, this is actually an opportunity in disguise. The person is angry, or annoyed, or dissatisfied and now you have a chance to turn that situation around. A complaint, handled well can turn your worse critic into a raving fan. Avoiding this situation is the worst thing you can do; that’s why when people leave bad reviews you should always respond and promptly. In fact, often bad reviews are left because the person wasn’t able to reach you directly, so they tried the next best thing!
Investigate
And naturally, keep your promises. Investigate the complaint, with all honesty. Rather than being defensive, or annoyed with the situation, be fair. Do they have a reasonable complaint? At every stage, you never want to be argumentative or enter into a debate with a person. If their complaint is unreasonable (and remember, some people complain purely to get something for free) then deliver that news in the best way possible. Try to find something you can “give” them. For example, if they want a full refund but are unable to return the item, you might provide a partial refund, or provide a store credit for their next purchase. Part of any negotiation (and this IS a negotiation) is that both parties feel they have had a win in some way.
Debrief & Improve
As an experienced business coach, I’m always looking for opportunities to improve. Assess the situation from this angle; can a process be improved or changed to help avoid the same happening again? It may be that your T&Cs need great clarity, or team need training. Also debriefing with a team member, associate or your coach, also helps you download and feel better. If you’ve handled the situation well, then give yourself a pat on the back. If you didn’t handle it so well, then there may be an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow. Don’t ‘beat yourself up’ or linger too long on what happened, particularly from a negative angle, but rather, see it as a chance to grow and improve.
If you’re needing help with your business (or people you deal with in your business), feel free to reach out to me to discuss my coaching services; my passion is your potential. My one-on-one business coaching covers so much. Sure, there are the practical aspects like marketing, sales, money, systems, staff, operations, but also other soft skills like time management, confidence, people management and yes, negotiating. All the skills that you need to operate a great business.
